First of all, nailed my first blog post Title/Subject line. There’s not many ways that I could think of dealing with finding out news like having cancer that wouldn’t be creative in some way. Since I work in an industry and a position where networking, meeting people, presenting 30 slide PowerPoint decks where the client already fell asleep at 5, and just having to be social come with the territory…I figured it’s best to get it out there now since I’m not one for awkward situations overall unless they are created by me specifically.

Although I exude a lot of C word character traits like charisma, comedic relief, constipation, cowardice in the face of ever running a marathon, and others that my friends and most likely my mother tell everyone on a daily basis, I didn’t think having Cancer would be one on my 2024 bingo card. Am I freaking out? Sure. Are my parents keeping it together? Of course….when they aren’t strangling me in hugs and making me tea every other hour while asking people like the Bishop of Rockville Centre to pray for me (that happened). After my initial sobbing breakdown in front of my best friend in the emergency room hospital bed when I met with the oncologist alone at MassGeneral after my CT scan, I kind of got it out of my system and started to revert back to my “normal” sarcastic Cassin self because if I didn’t/don’t then I know that I’ve already let this disease inside me throw a knockout punch.

God or whoever is making the rules upstairs has a horrible sense of timing after I was riding high on the excitement of starting a new job after a 6-month unemployment period only to deliver a swift kick to my rectum (see what I did there? Because I have rectal cancer!). I am fortunate to now work for such an amazing company with leadership and a team that has been so understanding and supportive it’s almost unfair to everyone else. And honestly, I don’t think I could keep my sanity going if I didn’t have work to dive into and keep me focused, but also distracted at the same time.

It wasn’t easy telling my close friends both from college and within the Ad Tech world, mostly because it’s an awkward conversation starter: “Hey, are you free for brunch? I’ve been craving Eggs Benedict….by the way, I’ve got cancer!” I also don’t think I would be able to handle the somber looks as if my tombstone has already been engraved. So the need to reassure everyone that I’m okay with not being okay and that all I need for them is to be there and accept that I’m still “Cassin” at the end of the day was and will be crucial for me.

Okay so in case this blog post wasn’t clear, I’ve found out that I have cancer and next steps is to start treatment and kick its ass to the curb. Now in classic Cassin fashion I am going to rank my top 5 movies that involve Cancer and you can argue with my choices, but that would just be kind of messed up at this point….

5. Cancerpants

   

   Never seen it, but it goes in here purely on name alone and that’s a fact

4. Funny People

   

   Insane comedic cast and the way the character and even his friends continue to use humor to confront and address the diagnosis had me laughing pretty hard.

3. Brian’s Song

   

   Any adult male who says they didn’t cry watching this movie is a god damn liar.

   2. Stepmom

   

   Any adult male who says they haven’t both cried to this AND belted out Ain’t No Mountain High Enough is also a god damn liar.

1. Deadpool

   

   I mean he had cancer in his liver, lungs, prostate, and brain, then developed mutant powers that made him essentially immortal. Only downside was that his face looked like an avocado had sex with an older, more disgusting avocado. Could be worse I guess?

Honorable Mention: Breaking Bad

There’s not much stopping me from becoming Walter White other than ignoring most of my education, especially within math & sciences, and that my college nickname of Pumba is far less intimidating than Heisenberg…..

Leave a comment